Sunday

Surprisingly, nothing much happened today. I had a formation at 730, went to chow, had another formation at 9 am and then we were released for the day. Of course I went right back to my room and both my roommate and I crashed out until about 2 pm. Man, it felt AMAZING to sleep that long. We got up, went to the PX to return some things and get some small items we missed off the packing list. Then we came back to the room and that is where we have been ever since. I have to go outside to the parking lot in order to use my phone. Once in a while I get reception in the room but most of the time it is in and out. My phone won’t even say I missed a call so make sure you leave me a voicemail so I can call you back.
Sometimes the smells and the sounds of the Army bring back so many memories for me. I have been feeling a mixture of excitement, fear, sadness, loneliness, and fun. I just put on my pt jacket for the first time tonight and the swishing of the fabric and the smell took me right back to Christmas in Afghanistan with all the SSA (Supply Support Activity) people. It was so vivid for me and I wanted to cry, just the loss of good friends and relationships since then due to a million different reasons. I think too the Army has brought back a lot of good feelings too. I am looking forward to the work and the intensity of things.
I am kind of feeling out this blog as I go…how personal to be, how honest to be, and what all to write. It can’t exactly be my journal because some things really do need to stay private. I am struggling with dealing with the Army without my ex by my side. It is a foreign concept to do this on my own after having him help me along the way for so many years. I know I am going to be successful and do not need him to hold my hand through this, but it is just very intense for me. I don’t think I have been this much of a ball of emotions for a really long time. It is already a wild ride and I haven’t even started OCS. Lol
Mary and I had a really good conversation today too, and I really do have the most amazing siblings in the world. Somehow they always make the world a better and more fun place.